Something that I don’t think is still spoken enough about is the different ways eating disorders can LOOK on different people.
Most people think that anyone who may seem even a little bit underweight is struggling with an ED. In some cases that might be true, but in most, it’s probably not.
For me, the picture on the left was when I really struggled with an eating disorder, body dysmorphia among other mental health issues.
I struggled with ED while being size 8 and while being size 14/16 (and everything in between). But, I didn’t think that was even possible. I convinced myself that I was never ‘skinny enough’ to have an eating disorder, while always hiding away in layers of clothing (that picture was taken in the middle of a super humid summer day in Poland😬). I fully despised my body and had an awful relationship with food, with constant cycles of restricting and binging.
The picture on the right is the lowest weight I’ve EVER been. It’s also the healthiest I’ve ever been. I spent so many years obsessed about my weight and the way my body looked/didn’t look. Now, I’m able to eat more intuitively. I move my body when I want to and when I do is to FEEL good and not because I’m trying to change the way it looks. I try to look at food as something that is there to nourish my mind and body but most likely will never say no to some vegan chocolate cookies and pizza #balance .
Sometimes, I still catch myself emotionally eating, and I accept that. I don’t make myself feel guilty or restrict myself for the next days/weeks because of it.
I’m now able to see what a disordered outlook I had on food and my body throughout most of my life. Things didn’t change overnight, it took many relapses to get to where I am today. But, I realised that it’s important to never dismiss your struggles just because they don’t fit society standards.
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